Stockholm syndrome

Living in Stockholm for two and a half years while working at Spotify.

Last month, I left my job at Spotify and moved countries.

I lived in Stockholm, Sweden for two and a half years from January 2022 to July 2024. Lived. I’ll need to get used to using the past tense. 

During that time, I worked as a Senior Product Manager at Spotify on the New Product Innovation team. I got to work on two big releases while I was there – one for music lovers and one for kids.

Living in Sweden was amazing. I was born and grew up in the United States and had always wanted to try living outside my home country. I’m really happy I made it happen.

In the Fall of 2021 I was living in New York City and working as a product manager at LinkedIn. Covid was on the decline and I was ready for my next thing. After some reflection, I decided that living outside of the US and continuing to grow as a product manager were my top priorities so I started looking for roles that let me do both.

This led me to find, apply for, and get a PM job at Spotify in Stockholm. So began a two and half year adventure to Sweden.

^Me, younger and less wise, a week after arriving in Stockholm

Learning about Sweden from Swedes was a big highlight. Every day I’d see something that was new (to me). Some custom, norm, behavior, word. Noticing these things, then getting to ask Swedish friends and co-workers about them, was endlessly fun and fascinating to me. I’ll never forget the shock and horror on a Swedish friend’s face when I mentioned I talked to a stranger on the subway. (One does not speak to strangers in Sweden; one does not talk on the subway). Or the confusion I felt the first time I saw someone using “snus” – tucking a nicotine pouch under her upper lip and replacing it with a fresh one 15 minutes later.

I learned about the three Vs – Villa, Volvo, Vovve (translated: house, Volvo, doggie) – that describe the generic life goals for a Swede. I participated with fervor in the Swedish sacrament of “fika” – breaking for brewed coffee and baked goods. I listened to Veronica Maggio and Miss Li. I watched Loreen win Melodifestivalen – Sweden’s annual song contest to nominate a Swede for Eurovision – and then watched her sweep Eurovision 2023. 

I committed all the cultural faux pas… doing laundry without reserving a slot in my apartment building’s Laundry Board, trying to pay for a Swedish girl’s drink on a date, complimenting a stranger’s jacket, abusing the lovely Swedish language as I tried to learn it. (I have come to accept I will never be able to say “sjuksköterska” properly.) Thankfully, I was nearly always forgiven on account of my incurable condition of being American and not knowing better. 

^ the Swedes were doing cold plunge way before it was cool.

Another highlight was meeting amazing people from all over the world. Swedes, Brits, Poles, Germans, Nigerians, Ukrainians, Indians, Italians. I had non American friends before I lived in Sweden. But I found meeting and befriending non Americans even more fun while living outside of the US. With Swedes, I had generous, welcoming teachers. With non Swedes, I had fellow foreigners to connect with over being Not From Here. When I moved to Stockholm I didn’t know a single person. Over time, I got to know and build friendships with awesome people from all over the world.

Europe is a special place. Stockholm is an amazing city. It’s beautiful, clean, organized, livable, and green. The summers are paradise. The winters are… dark. I also got to visit lots of other European cities. It’s a lot easier to travel to a new city when it’s a 1 hour flight rather than an 8 hour flight. Iceland, Oslo, Helsinki, Hamburg, London, Berlin, Kiruna, Umbria, Crete etc. And there’s still so much more to see.

Sometimes, it was really hard. Logistics were a massive pain. Getting a BankID and personal number. Seeing a doctor. Finding an apartment. Banking in a new city. Paying bills in a foreign language. Worrying about visa requirements. The list could feel endless. 

Other times I was just plain lonely. It took time to make new friends. And it didn’t help that most of my coworkers were remote. Fortunately, I found my way socially by making a big effort to meet people wherever I went. I met people at the Spotify office, on dating apps, at coffee shops. I organized board game nights, movie nights, dinners, and more. I reconnected with friends and family back home. In the end, I found folks I deeply connected with and learned how to build a community in a new place. It’s not easy, but there is a way.

So what’s next? 

Right now, I’m visiting friends and family in the US. 

In a few weeks, I’ll fly to Medellin, Colombia, where I’ll live for a few months.

After that, I’ll move to London. I haven’t chosen a new job yet. At the moment, I’m interested in starting or joining a startup. We’ll see.

TLDR: Stockholm was siiiiick and I’m not coming home anytime soon.

Picture of me and friends at a picnic I hosted on my last weekend in Stockholm. I was also celebrating my 30th birthday. Goodbye youth 🥲